Today my emotions overflow me. They pull me, drag me, carry me out of control. They claw from under the skin as if they were trying to come out in the form of a shock wave. They overtake me. I don’t know what to do to keep them under control. I breathe, but the air rushes in and out, uncontrollably. My mind feels like a pressure cooker. Are they emotions or are they thoughts? What if they are the same thing? What I know is that I can feel them and I can think them and everything seems out of whack.
I keep breathing. I try to slow down the pace, to be the one in control. But it is they who still win the battle, irreverent, rebellious, putting my world on the brink of extinction. There is no peace within me. My brain is a Molotov cocktail of neurotransmitters and hormones running amok without finding a landing strip.
And I get exhausted, I can feel it and I can think it, because it is all so intense that it becomes very real and it is not easy to make it go away. My body reminds me that today I have feelings on the edge of my skin, with goose bumps and, at the same time, with a cold sweat, with palpitations that deafen and a tremor that runs from my feet to my head, passing through every pore of my skin and leaving an imprint in every cell that makes up my being.
Emotions, like feelings, are like that, pure energy. Sometimes they are e-motion, because they set you in motion, shake you up, stir you up, and sometimes they paralyze you, numb you. Fear, sadness, melancholy, keep you tied to an endless instant, while joy, euphoria, anger, move from one second to the next at the speed of light, making your heart gallop as if it were late for its destination.
A destination without beginning or end.
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